One of the most amazing things that can come from the breakup of a marriage or relationship is the opportunity to shift gears and focus on becoming the very best person you can possibly be.
Even if your marriage is not going down the tubes, just knowing that there are higher levels of enjoyment and fulfillment you and your husband can reach is motivation enough to learn more about what I call the Wonder Woman Effect.
Having and projecting a wondrous, ungettable quality about yourself can be a transformative event for every wife out there.
The way I see it, there are essentially two key choices you have when you are mired in a struggling marriage.
You can just retreat further into a marriage of mediocrity and just hope that future troubles pass you by.
Or you can do something about your life and lift yourself up.
This is where the Ungettable Wife comes into play.
By the way, when you finish reading this post, come back and check out this article I wrote as it is full of ideas for you!
So what is it exactly? How do you attain this status? Why would you ever want to be ungettable?
After all, you want your husband to desire you and perhaps you gladly given yourself to your man to complete your marriage pledge of love and honor and commitment. You expect he will do the same for you in return.
That is what is often referred to as selfless love for your spouse. You are there for each other and seek to become “one” in your love.
How on earth do you and your husband achieve such a lofty goal?
And what is all this talk about morphing yourself into this state of becoming ungettable?
All good questions.
So let’s get into it.
What is an Ungettable Wife?
It is somewhat like becoming a Wonder Woman Wife.
Yes, that true, I want you to imagine yourself as an incredibly beautiful woman with all of these attractive qualities who also happens to be a wife.
You are smart, independent and lovely.
You are strong of mind and spirit.
You have a wonderful, unforgettable personality. You are healthy and strong.
Everybody likes you and wants to be around you. Your are both a magnet for men and women. Children adore you. And most importantly your best friend is yourself. Not in the sense that you are arrogant. Quite the contrary, an ungettable wife is selfless. But she loves herself immensely.
Because you are all these things, many men think of you has so highly valued that they could never have a chance to win you over. Despite all their charms and smarts and wealth (or whatever they offer), their confidence wanes when they are in your presence. It is because you have this certain undefinable quality (i.e. Ungettable).
Other men and women consider your husband as the luckiest guy on the planet because you chose him to share your life.
As the Ungettable Wife, you give off this aura of being special and so highly attractive (emotional and physical), every man wants you and every woman envies you.
Before I forget, take a look at this post too as it touches on how you can maximize your attraction:
What is the Wonder Woman Wife in Your Man’s Eye?
The other day I got a message from one of my clients. She and her husband of 5 years were struggling. He seemed not to be all that impressed with her in the same way as earlier in their relationship. Their married life had become a series of boring routines leaving them both unquenched and dissatisfied.
I had suggested to her that she might want to work on becoming that woman she once was and more. At first she didn’t quite understand. She asked me, “how do I become somebody that I am not and how will that help me with getting my husband to pay more attention to me?”
I explained to her that she already has a lot of leverage given that she and her husband are still together and things have not really fallen apart like in marriages that are troubled with mountains of problems and dysfunction.
I emphasized that if she wants more of her husband’s attention she needs to think about renewing her own attractiveness. I explained that attraction is not just about physical beauty or sexuality. But I elaborated that there are some things she can try that have worked in the past on a lot of guys.
She wanted to know more because she felt her husband was sliding away. “What is this ungettable quality you are talking about?”, she asked me. “How do I know that I have it and that it will work on my husband?“.
I told her that the ungettable qualities she can put to into play will serve to attract her husband to her like a magnet. I explained it is something she already possesses inside her. I explained that to become a wonder woman in her husband’s eyes, all she needs to do is focus on just a few areas that will cause her husband to surrender to her more often than she imagined.
I emphasized that becoming the Ungetabble Wife is a continuous pursuit.
It doesn’t start and end with doing a few things. It is something you work on throughout your marriage and sometimes it means you reinvent yourself frequently. I explained that these she need not make wholesale changes. That is not the type of reinvention I am referring to.
I also explained that being an ungettable wife is not the same thing for every woman. As we all change over the course of our lives, so does the ungettable wife who is always seeking to find those things that make her shine.
In effect you become ungettable when your own husband realizes that you have so much value, he deems that no other man can have you.
He wants you all for himself. You are ungettable in his eyes because the thought of another man being able to experience all of your wonderful qualities becomes unthinkable to him.
Then I told my client something that many women, when learning about this concept for the first time, seldom realize.
When you seek to become the persona of the ungettable wife in your husband’s mind, you are really not doing just for him to appreciate you, admire you, love and want you more or even lust after you in new ways.
Sure, you want all those things in your marriage.
You want to be the pinnacle of what he sees as attractive and desirable.
But here is the rub. While you want all those things to happen, what you really need to achieve is to become the Ungettable Wife for yourself.
Becoming a Wonder Woman Wife is very much about feeling good about who you are and how you feel about yourself. When you feel really good about what you are all about, ,you exude confidence and happiness.
When you feel confident and happy, you increase the magnetism of your personality and your husband wants to come into your orbit even more.
He will invest more time in talking with you. He will be motivated to be around you and plan things with you. When you become a woman who exudes confidence and other attractive qualities, he feels more valued in your company.
Another off shoot of becoming kinetic in the qualities you exude is not just your husband wanting to please you and be with you, but other people will also be attracted to the force of your being.
Becoming a Wonder Woman Wife offers up holistic experiences.
People see how your husband responds to you and in turn he notices how other people are drawn to you (his ungettable wife).
Men flirt with you.
Women compliment you.
This phenomenon feeds on itself and as more people come into your life and value you and enjoy being with you, it makes you all the more attractive, causing your husband to count his lucky stars that he has you as his wife.
The ungettable wife in this way becomes the Wonder Woman wife.
She is never a woman who flaunts here popularity. This quality makes her even more likable and easily approached by others.
As the ungettable wife aura shines brighter with every day, you build a certain reputation which other men and women value.
They look up to you and want to know your secrets.
How Do You Become Your Husband’s Ungettable Wife?
So my client wanted to know how she should go about making herself “ungettable” to her husband.
She wanted her husband to think of her in such a way that he would rue the day he didn’t pay greater attention to his wife.
The plan I put together for this client involved a multi prong approach.
My client’s Ungettable Wife persona was going to be realize through her efforts in three main areas.
Creating a renewed sense of mystery and mystique
Creating highly different and stimulating sexual encounters
Owning an active, energetic, and positive personality whose purpose is not solely to please her man, but exists to mainly please herself.
Your Husband is Attracted to a Touch of Mystery
Men are drawn to women that offer them mystery.
Your husband is no different. Doing things that he would not anticipate or expect can add zest to your marriage. Your ability to add a touch of mystique back into your marriage is a worthy endeavor. Sometimes it can be just a small thing. It can be about a small gift you surprise him with.
It can be something highly intimate. Men love being surprised by their wife in the bedroom, particularly if she approaches him in an unusual way.
This sense of something that is different can apply across the spectrum. It could be about your physical appearance. The perfume you wear is different. An unusual way you touch him can lodge into his subconscious. A different way in which you hug and whisper a secret little compliment about him can appeal to his ego.
Little jealousy plays can help reinforce your value as a very special woman.
How your husband (and other men and women) perceives you in the way that you dress, the way you do your hair, the commitment you have to having a great body are all part of creating this sense that you are special and different than the other women he has come across.
To reinforce these special qualities you have, it is helpful to find what I call reinforcers.
You need confederates to help you with reinforcing how truly special you are. And you want your husband to take notice of how others see you so that he will appreciate you even more.
The compliments you get on your Facebook page can server as reinforcers. Getting friends to point out how great your body looks or how lovely you slide into the outfit you are wearing can all be part of reinforcing your image as the Wonder Woman Wife.
Making sure your husband is aware of these Wonder Woman compliments also plays a part in adding to your mystique. You want your husband to prize you and what better what to do that than through the compliments and feedback you get from other people.
Men are also interested in sex of a different encounter.
You may be thinking, “Chris, I know my husband likes sex and we don’t have much of a problem in that department“.
But what I said was sex of a different encounter.
Whenever you are able to command your man’s attention through unusually intimate or unpredictable sexual encounters, then you are growing closer to becoming the Ungettable Wife in his mind.
You want him to think the words “amazing” and “wonderful” when he conjures up images of his next sexual encounter with you. You want him fantasizing about his incredibly sexy Ungettable Wife. You will want to tease him about the prospects of new and different sexual encounters, but always leaving some mystique and uncertainty.
But here is the rub. You can’t over play your hand. Your husband cannot always “get” what he wants. That is what makes you Ungettable in certain respects.
These amazing sexual encounters with your husband should be sprinkled throughout the month. As with all things lovely and wonderful, too much familiarity can spoil the uniqueness of the experience.
The Wonder Woman Wife that is perceived as ungettable also possesses a incredibly positive personality.
She glows with excitement and fun. She is quick to stroke and satisfy her husband aching ego.
A study that dealt with attractiveness reported that one of the most important ingredients in holding a man’s attraction revolves around the woman’s friendly personality. It is not how beautiful she is or how amazing she looks in her wardrobe. It is about having a welcoming, open, fun, and positive personality.
The most important thing that every Ungettable Wonder Woman Wife learns is that while her winning personality is a huge attractor for her husband, she is not exhibiting this amazing personality for the sake of pleasing her man, rather she is committing to being positive, vibrant, and fun for herself.
There is a contagious quality to having a magnetic personality.
The Ungettable Wife understands that it is not always physical appearance or great sex that rules over her husband’s long term desire for her, rather it is the makeup of her personality and character and how well it dovetails with his own.
Your husband will seek you out and come to subconsciously gravitate to everything you are about as you attain this Ungettable persona.
But the key is to love yourself and celebrate in your own amazing self with humility.
That is the path to true happiness and successful relationships.
6 responses to “Becoming The Ungettable Wife in Your Husband’s Mind”
I really need to take this advice to feel good about myself. My H is still confused about whether he wants me or the OW and i want to remind him that he chose me first and made a commitment for a reason. Do you think this will work in getting him to remember why he fell in love with me?
Men are often pretty predictable. They often want that which they can’t have. So if you realize your potential in becoming the Ungettable Wife, I like your chances.
People tend to think the grass is greener and want to try other things out. This is particularly the case with some relationships and it may seem at this time to your husband that this other woman is the ultimate answer to all that he wants. But it very possible that it is his hormones (brain chemistry) that is influencing his behavior and when all that starts to die down, his rational mind will begin to draw comparisons. Meanwhile, you will be out there acting and looking happy and beautiful and attractive without it being an oversell.
If he’s still confused and talking to the OW (she’s long distance), what would the best step for me be? I’ve limited contact but have not dune a full no contact because I am so afraid that will push him to her. I almost feel like doing NC will be his justification that I don’t care. I can totally see him saying ” see she doesn’t love me anyway but this other person does”. I know I deserve better and I deserve someone to choose me first but I can’t help but feel like I’m just giving up.
I think limited contact would be appropriate as you have explained it to me. I also agree you deserve better. But first things first. Keep your dignity and see this through its end. If it does not turn in your favor, just know that I have high hopes that you will find something better.
I’m not really sure how to see this through to the end. Do you have suggestions on how to continue?
Work towards becoming the “Ungettable Girl” as I have explained it here in the comment section and in posts on my other website….exboyfriendrecovery.com. Do it for yourself. It will make you feel better…as you work toward being the best version of yourself. Its a recovery strategy…but it is also an attraction strategy if you still want him in your life. And however all this ends up, remember your are far stronger inside than you realize. And remember you will have options in life to pursue whatever brings you greater pleasure.